{Heart Notes}

I needed time to process this before sharing. There are definitely ups and downs on this journey, the tougher parts take longer to digest. A bitter pill to swallow. 

We met with Dr G, our Maternal Fetal Medicine Specialist, again for a Fetal Echocardiogram to get a targeted scan of Aria's heart as he'd suspected a gap in her septum but couldn't confirm. 

Ventricular Septal Defect...Aria has a confirmed heart defect, this one is sometimes called a "hole in the heart". We knew there's about a 50/50 chance that she'll be born with a congenital heart defect, it's common in babies with Down syndrome. 

We're formulating a plan before she arrives and meeting with a Pediatric Cardiologist in a few weeks for a prenatal consult and will discuss surgery; we'll have a medical team ready for her when she debuts-she'll have the best care in place. We're still praying fervently for her health and lifting this up to God. 

We ARE blessed that the VSD is the only medical issue manifested so far! 

I measured larger at my last OB appointment earlier this week though and had my amniotic fluids measured at this MFM appointment. Fluids are higher than they should be. A couple of causes for this can be gestational diabetes (me) or duodenum issues (Aria). Dr G will be watching closely for what is commonly called the "double bubble" which is when there's a GI blockage; this would require surgery on Aria after birth and actually concerns me far more than the heart surgery. While I don't really want gestational diabetes, if this isn't just an amniotic fluid fluctuation, I'd always prefer for it to be an issue with me (especially something that I can manage) rather than another medical complication for my little girl.  

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 147:3

{Big Plans}

“There’s a plan greater than what we could ever imagine.” I hear that phrase or wording similar to that all the time. And with risk of contempt, it’s often overused.

Except…

When I look at my own lineage.

I think of the heartache my parents must have gone through after years of infertility: the pain, the frustration, the unfairness of it all.  But you see God had something bigger in store for them. Had they not endured that grief, their depth of gratitude for life, for God’s provision through adoption would have been different. Little did they know during those years of trying and waiting, there were 5 precious children preparing to be born. Those 5 babies and birth mothers with their own individual stories. Birth moms who made the heart wrenching decisions to give their babies a better life than they’d be able to provide, whether due to age, cultural circumstances, financial capability, or even in my case due to conception through rape.

God takes the very worst of things and creates, sculpts something bigger and greater than any of us can imagine. Let that sink in.

So even after years of aching for our third child, devastating miscarriage loss, and now being faced with a high-risk pregnancy with rough survival statistics and a lifelong disability- how could I even doubt for a minute that God has something unimaginable in store for our family. There is something amazing about to happen. There is something amazing happening NOW.